About Me

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Philadelphia, PA
Hi. Welcome to my blog. I have been in the tax arena for more than 30 years (what an awful thought), dealing primarily with the taxation of corporations and partnerships. I have recently moved to BBD, LLP in Philadelphia, where I am a director of tax services. If you were wondering, a combination of circumstances in my personal life and my specialization led to the name. It was created by my late wife, Suzann.

A Tribute Upon the Death of a Friend

Thursday, January 21, 2010

"... Do not go gentile into that good night."

                                                 Dylan Thomas

Almost 15 years ago, my wife and I began a journey from which we would never return.  During the summer of 1995, it was discovered that she had a tumor on her brain stem, and immediate removal was crucial.  I know she was scared to death, but she maintained a brave face for the others around her.  She never said anything about what she thought was going to happen to her; instead, it was "Don't worry!  I'll be home in two weeks."  During that surgery she had a brain stem stroke, and two weeks turned into seven months.

When she came home, it was still her, but she was wrapped in an unknown package.  The surgery and the stroke had left her in a wheelchair with many years of therapy and exercise ahead.  She really hated that, but she persevered, and had returned to a point over the next 14 years where she was able to walk with assistance for extended distances, cook, tend to her plants and garden, and many other things that made life more "normal" to her.  The one thing she could never do, however, was accept people telling her that she couldn't do something! 

During those 14 years, she touched a lot of hearts.  She had a distinctly unique personality that allowed people to love and hate her at the same time, but always ultimately end up on the loving end of the scale.  She would hate people treating her like she's handicapped, and would really get upset with people trying to "help too much."  All she wanted to be was normal.

Last fall, she had another ischemic stroke that removed some of that normalcy.  We regressed about ten years in her recovery cycle.  Again it appeared it would be a long and painful recovery, but she was now saying she was going to recover and be better than she was the first time.

Last week, that recovery cycle came to an end.  As we were preparing for bed, she suddenly screamed out "my eye, my eye."  The pain she felt in her eye was her brain exploding - a massive hemorrhagic stroke.  Although she was working extremely hard to recover her faculties, she would tell everyone that she was tired of "living in this broken body."  Earlier this week, she left her broken body behind.

I understand that people lose spouses; they more often lose friends, to death.  I lost my wife and my best friend in a single moment in time.  We were together for 20 years, and we were still "in like."  If you understand what this means, you know how special it is.  She had the heart of a lion and the gentleness of a lamb.  She was a fighter who would sternly say "we can't give up."  She saved my life twice, and although I helped her in 1995, I still owed her one that I couldn't deliver.

Her situation left her with many unfulfilled wishes.  With all of the things she could have wanted in life, however, more than anything, she always said she wanted to run again.  Now's your chance, Sue.  Run!  Run like the wind now that you've escaped the broken body. 

I love you and I will miss you forever.

Your husband and best friend.

G

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